Friday, 29 April 2011

love and fights...

                 Everything isn't sugary (come on, too much sugar is bad for health) in love.. Pyaar me jhagde ka tadka toh lagna hi chahiye!! Ok the nokh-jhok type of trouble doesn't last longer than 2 hours in my case (unless the other half is too busy to call and make up)..
                 Both of us have flaring tempers and when the ignited neither relents without fighting out! It is not in my genes (half of them are anyway in constant battle with the other) to give in on matters I feel strongly about and S would rather live in his SPACE than bow down to my demands!! I tell you life is tough when we cross each other's territory!! My otherwise calm and cool S turns into a storm and only the resilient M can soothe it then!!
                  The resilient M is the M who gets tired of arguing and misses her "sweet nothings" with S..
We could create record for the variations in fights we have on the same topics !!
        I used to get worried about why we fight so much? Give stupid compatibility tests online( poor scared me) which used to return terrifying 10% result... Well if that were the case, then we sticking out for each other for so much time is nothing short of a miracle!!
        Later I realised that such fights are a pattern in every steady couple... ( anything more than 6 months is steady in this case)
       I know this couple on twitter which argues and rants publicly.. Threatens to divorce (although they aren't married....!!), reverts to jealousy( the guy meets other girls..err his friends he says... when his gal is angry), declares break up ( no one takes it seriously now!) , then the guy writes some love note or quotes, woos the girl back and everything is hunky dory!!
      This couple has been together for 6 years now!!!

ME and S have enough fights to our credit and currently we are in "PEACE"...

We have had some ugly altercations and even after he comes back to me always there are things which are still working well..

The fact that he says "I want to be out of this relation" when he is too angry and I am scared  not scared.. I can always have this faint hope of him being there for me..

It is frustrating when he switches off his mobile ( the worst he can do to keep me off him) and I do don't think "He wants someone else in his life now"..

It is crazy how such probabilities pop into my mind and I spend sleepless nights, wetting my pillow with tears, burning eyes until the pill I take for splitting headache puts me off to sleep... The next day I wake up with swollen eyes and a fluffy face...

I toss some coin to decide if I should call him ( if the answer is in negative I do best out of three...somehow always works in the positive) and when he calls back (yeye!! ) I keep silent with only yes or no and other one words ( though I m dying of stomach ache due to not telling him the latest update in my life) and the guy has clearly had a memory loss of last night ...

Sometimes there is an e-card waiting for me which says "sorry" and sometimes it is just the man himself telling tales to make me laugh.. Somehow things fall into place and soon we are giggling khi khi khi...

I remarked once that "S have you noticed how much more love is there in our relation after a day of fight??  kisine sach hi kaha hai jhagde se pyaar badhta hai " ( yeah we get all filmy sometimes :P)

And he is quick to add "Aise pyaar nahi badhana hai..I hate fighting"

:P :P That's my practical but cute S...

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Aaj kal love hota hai janab!!

            This is not about pasta ( though the title is the caption of a certain pasta brand) .. This about aaj ka love or whatever it is today!! I have been thinking about it for some time and the more I think the more I get amused by the complete clash of ideas of aaj ka love and me!!

  • This is the generation of speed.. There is no patience in love.. If the said object of affection doesn't respond for more than 2 weeks then the love starts withering away.. Whether it is "short-term interest" or the greed of "too many fishes in the pond" I do not know..
  • Love is more about attraction than liking.. There is a thin line between these two.. Attraction sure keeps the spark alive in relation but if there is no liking it is of no use.. There is hardly any genuine fondness in couples.. A little gain in weight, a slight negligence in dressing up gets the hormones down..
  • Love is more of show for others than a blessing for self.. Who's dating who will always be the hot gossip, but making sure to be on the list is becoming an agenda for some. Catching the hottest dude or the sexy bomb of the college is the way to establish superiority!
  • There is too much of practicality and less of emotion.. Girlfriend/Boyfriend are often like part of the curriculum for some.. Leave the college, forget the boyfriend/girlfriend.. Make way for the  new alliance in the new place seems to be the order of the day.
  • There is lack of passion and sincerity about the relation. Gone are the days when the guy would leave his rich family and start over all again for the girl.. Gone are the days when the girl fleed from her parental house to be with the guy. Today's love lives for the moment. If there is going to be a problem then they better ditch the relation. Agreed that fighting back and all seem easy in movies but prove to be a pain in real life, but then why get involved in relations that you are never going to live up to?
  • There is an uncomfortable level of "openness" in relations.. The girl doesn't mind if the guy is dating some other girls for fun as well.. Not only in love but even in marriages this trend is catching up. Open up the newspaper "Personal questions" column and you would come across many queries regarding swapping partners as well!! I wonder where this is all heading too!!
  • Love is materialistic! Love has become more of a medium to exploit the other partner for personal gains.. 
  • Love is has a editable memory.. Ek gayi toh doosri aa gayi!! 

These are very common changes in the lifestyle today.. I m sometimes at loss for words when someone casually says that," She is waiting for her Mr. Right " when she is actually professing to be in love with so and so from college!! 

I feel like a martyr when someone asks me "Are you serious with your guy?" and when I reply in affirmative, I get this admiration in their eyes like "Wow, you are great!!" 
The school of thoughts I come from has been long closed down or what??
How am I supposed to be in love with someone and not be serious about it??

I m against the use of word "True love"... People !love is always true!! If it is not, then you are confusing something else with love dearies!!

Somewhere down the line everyone meets that someone they should ideally be with, that's true love and when it happens there is no time to be practical!! 

Whether you stick to that special someone or move on in life with a consolation is the question!!

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Love is when....

         Love is when your guy( a mechanical engineer) sends you something like this...

A true letter of a Mech guy!!!

 My perpetual darling,
From the day u entered in the control volume of my mind my heart has become a closed system and its entropy is increasing according to III'rd law of loveodynamics. ......

The events and activities are so complex that i cannot find the optimum path after n nos. of iterations.. ....

My heart is unable to sustain the cyclic load of ur frequent smiles and is near to endurance limit failure.....

 I am quenched in ur thoughts and no heat treatment can save my heart  from decrystalisation now........

 please do not test the bearing capacity of my heart valves and lower your yield strength.... .....

please do not increase the compression ratio of my heart so much bcoz  it is not designed to bear so much thermal stress .....

please lower the octane no of ur temper as my little heart is not accustomed to so much undesired Knocking.... ...

 I am sure that u also would be experiencing some residual stress, and will someday show a

proportionate straining of ur heart according tohooks law ........

.and as a Mechi i firmly belive in this i will wait ....... till my little heart crosess its ultimate tensile stress and fractures .

And suddenly all the theories in physics seem to make sense and all you reply is

"So cute... I love you....!!!"

What a woman wants...

           Warning: The needs are the most common ones.. I m not to be blamed if this doesn't work on your ladylove..

           Simple, priceless things a woman wants in love..
  • Tell her "I love you" everyday.. Trust me it makes her day..
  • Call her to check on her health when she is not well.. Yes we know you feel it's best to let us have rest and so don't call.. But your call is what we need to feel better..
  • Compliment her when she tries something new with her looks.. You can be subtle in expressing your dislike for the same by saying "I like you more in your previous hairstyle" rather than saying a direct" what have you done?? It doesn't suit you!!"
  • She likes to be called "baby" but not be treated like one always.. 
  • Send her an e-card or a love note without occassion.. 
  • Even if you talk everyday do not ever miss that special call at midnight on Valentine's or Her Birthday.. 
  • Do not ever compare her with somebody else's girlfriend in looks or cooking department.. You can do it only if you want to say, "Baby you are so much better than her" :) :)
  • Appreciate her efforts to please you.. Be it learning to cook for you, be it losing weight ( this is for you S) , be it learning your language.. We just need that praise to keep going on..
  • When we talk about our problems, we just wish you to listen to us.. Never ever we want you to solve it so do not feel miserable and say "What can I do??" 
  • Try to be friends with her friends ( but not over-friendly, we don't like surprises about you from our girlfriends) 
  • When she is low, try to lift up her moods rather than leaving her alone.. ( Going into the cave to sort out ourselves is sooo not in our nature)
  • Hug her and hold hands when she cries.. Sweet words and a light kiss can soothe her.. We don't like you running away from tears...
  • Try to understand her humor and don't crack jokes on her family...
  • We all like some old fashioned chivalry like opening doors, pulling chairs...
I hope my little wishlist is of some help to guys and girls are free to add more to it... :) :)

Men are from Mars Women are from venus..

In a relationship, planning to get into a relationship, married or single, you need to have a look at this!!
No, I m not doing publicity of this book.. there are better people assigned for such work..
Why I would suggest to read this is simply because it does make you see things in a new light..

The battle of the sexes is over rated and over written subject.. This book talks about bridging the difference. That is why this book has struck the right chord..

I liked the imaginary concept of men being in Mars and Women in Venus..
Men competed each other and when they got bored of competition they reclined to their caves where they spent their time alone..
Women in Venus lived together in groups and when in despair they called everyone and talked about it.
The competition got monotonous on Mars and women realised they needed someone to claim as their own. 
Men and Women came on earth but they had one problem.. They spoke different languages..
So they formulated a dictionary wherein they could decipher everything said by the opposite gender.
With passing time, the dictionary got lost somewhere and there started the problem of all relations..
Men and women began looking for similarities in each other and when they couldn't find those, they started demanding changes in their partner..
The very reason why both sexes were searching for each other was forgotten.. Instead of celebrating the differences, they sulked over not being alike.. 

Isn't this the core of all the tensions in a relation??

John Gray has shed light over various cycles and needs of the individual gender.. 

But this book is not something to be read once and then kept on the shelf to collect dust..

It is a sort of a manual.. Each time you face a crisis with the opposite gender, you have to run through the pages... 

It is an effort towards reconstructing that lost dictionary..

About the love of my life...

             The most special person in my life.. I would name him S (no, his name doesn't start from S.. But there are a range of pet names I use for him that start from S..:)... )
              5 years 9  months back he came into my life as a stranger.. Little did I know that someday he will be  the one my life will revolve around..
              We began talking (mostly me) and in two days I began to trust him.. He listened to my endless rattling with a patient smile.. He left for his city and we kept in contact through the internet..
               I called him sometimes.. That was all to it..
               I knew it all through that what I felt for him was more than friendship.. He was my crush which later turned into "serious crush" and when he didn't show any interest it was on the verge of passing over..
               Something held it strong and the feeling never died.. Two years after I first met him, we confessed our love.. ( starting with me! )
               It's been 3 years ( just 4 months to 4!!) and the feeling still remains.. We have fought bitterly, blamed and accused, broken up and cancelled it (funny I know), threatened to die ( okay this one is only me) and in the end made up with a "love you soo much"...
               He is still the joy of my life.. He is still the only voice I want to hear when I wake up and the only assurance I need to die...
               This is our short but longgg love story.....


Breaking the ice...

             This is the very first post of this blog and I m totally clueless about what I m supposed to write to break the ice...
             All you need to know about me and the blog probably?? Why I started the blog?? Who is going to read this blog?? Well to answer a few..
             I m the-girl-next-door as I would like to put it.. I could be your regular girl who you spot in the bus.. I could be that random face you saw in the crowd today.. I could be any of those nameless faces you came across in your lifetime..
             This blog is something I could say a public diary.. I plan to share the simple joys of life and love.. mostly love... :)
             Why I started the blog has no answer.. I have read n number of blogs love, life, dreams etc etc and I m nowhere close to what they are already doing.. But may be I can add my own ideas and thoughts..
             Who will read this blog is still a mystery.. probably someone will google "love" and stumble upon my blog... and in time become a follower.. but that is far off for now.. Here is my cozy space where I m all alone with thoughts..


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