Friday, 12 October 2012

And then there came a wish so true..

              Over the last few posts, I have been trying to revive the blog from its comatose state. The reason I refrained from writing has always been that I don't like my negativity rubbing on here but I couldn't help it. When you wear dark glasses, you see darker and you cannot blame your sight for it. Things went from bad to worse and yes I have been driven to the edge so much that I questioned the Almighty about his existence in the last post. I asked him to give answers and prove himself. 
             That night, as I was typing away furiously with eyes blurred by tears, little did I know that my questions would be answered so soon. 
              In that post I had a few requests,

Do not and I repeat DO NOT send people into my life out of nowhere and link them to my heart

The next morning was no better. S and I were cold again and I told him that I won't come back because he hasn't asked me to stay. We are not in a relationship. He hanged up due to some work. He called me up twice after that but I did not see his call. 
In the evening he called again. My mood was not at all chirpy when he asked me "Guess karo me kaha hu". 
"Me kaise guess karu tum kaha ho?" In my mind I was mouthing- I m still pissed off with you. Do something about it!
"Mumbai aane wali bus me"
For the first few minutes I thought he was fooling me and did not show any happiness. It dawned on me much later that he really was coming to my city. 

So my dear God had already sent someone into my life! 

Do not give me dreams that will keep me sleepless.

The news of him coming caught me unaware. Beauty parlor, the clothes, the excuses, the hangouts, what to talk, what to clear, what to do.. everything kept me awake and when I slept, dreams of something going wrong startled me.

Block the memories that make me cry all night
The memories of the past came flooding by. I kept mentally revising what all had gone wrong. What all I should have thought about. So many happy memories of US..


If possible make my back stronger or reduce the load on me.
I had kept complaining on how my health was deteriorating and my stress increasing. I didn't know it then that the same excuse will help me miss classes for the  next 2 days!

Try and isolate all madly in love people and keep me away from them
These very people who irritated the life of me, helped me with the excuses ;) Yes I love them!

Make me thin or stop people taunting me but do not let me faint.
"I think you have put on weight" S said as he stared at me. Atleast I m not fainting :P Thank God for that! And somehow it sounds less offensive than "You look sick.. I think you have lost weight too due to ill health" 

Show me the direction or lead me through. Do not leave me in hands that ditch me midway.
Send in someone who would hold me through and STAY or make me immune to that thing called LOVE.

I walked with the man who leads me through when I m without spectacles. 
The man who doesn't leave my hand and holds  it tighter in crowd. 
Who holds me and tells me "You will be fine, just jump down." while I m saying "No I will fall!!" 
The man who promises to stay when I ask him not to leave me... 
IT just feels great to be loved the way you love someone,
To be missed as much as you have missed someone,
To be wanted as badly as you want someone,
To be told the above in the most direct ways,
with a little cheek pulling :P 

Thank you God for all the answers and I did get some of it from OH MY GOD :D Yes, this just couldn't have been a coincidence :D 
As for the last bit about focus on studies, I shouldn't push my luck too hard, should I? ;) 

I did not think I would ever write this S, but..

61.. I love it when you play with my hair!

62.  I love it the way you giggle when I tickle you.

63.  I love the way you say you are scared :) How I love to hold you when  you say that!

64. I love your boyish laughter in the movie.. I could just keep watching you!

65. I love the way you accept my ideas however crazy they are :D :D 

66. I love how you never miss an opportunity to take me into your arms 

67. I love the look you gave when I told you I will leave you stranded and won't return. That reprimanded kid look you gave made me want to come back to you :D :D 

68. I love the way you are so smart dealing with people :P 

69. I love the way you said you want me. No words but a nod ;) 

70. I love that from "We are not in a relationship" in the auto,  "We are in a relationship"  while getting out of auto happened! 


Fatima said...

I wish you all the luck in life and may S and you never have any misunderstandings.. :)

Genuinely happy for you guys!

Take Care

Alcina said...

Awwwwwww....have u taken the working of making people cry..jeez..i knew you cant be away from each other :)...scold S from my side and keep smilig always u guys..and agar aap mail check krti hain toh zara reply bui kijiyega :P
Take care n keep loving :)

M in love said...

@Fatima: Thanks a lot.. I have been reading your comments and I pray for you. May your problems be blown away and your smiles be more :)

M in love said...

@Alcina: S has had enough scoldings and beatings :P :P And I never want my readers to cry.. You have been such a great support and you know that :)

nupur said...

Sounds so nice :) btw I live in Mumbai too! In colaba

nupur said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ramya said...

Congrats Dear, Keep smiling :D everything will pass ! you should be strong and never see yourself low for what so ever is the reason :D

I dont know whether I am wise telling you or advising you on every post of yours but see :D I just cant stop :D

Khimbyrlee Eerlrybmihk said...

Wish you all the luck Sis. :D I'm missing your blog a lot. Wanting for your posts.

M in love said...

@Nupur: Thank you dear :) And replyingg to your other comment on another post- Yes I did fall in love very early.. when I was all of 15 :P Well I m always up for some tips :D

@ Ramya: I love reading your comments and never hesitate to say what you want to :)

@ Khim: Thank you so much dear.. there will be more posts :)

nupur said...

I would definitely like to get in touch with you then :D

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