Saturday, 17 December 2011

Mumma's girl


            " Girls are always close to their fathers, but dekhte hi dekhte Mom becomes their best friend."
These were the lines said by a senior at school when I was in 7th grade. We were out for a science exhibition and she used to call up her Mom from the booth and tell the most boring things about her day, "Mummy I ate sandwich."
              I prided myself on not being much of a Mumma's girl.
              Some of my friends' mothers pamper them no end. From waking them up with a tooth paste laid tooth brush in hand, keeping their clothes and towel ready for bath and packing their lunch and waterbottles in the bag to serving them food in their bedrooms.
              Some of my friends tell every little detail of their life to their mother. From who is dating whom in college, to who got which phone or who said what. Sometimes talking to them makes me feel like I m talking to their Mom! I have to be careful of what I say because it will go directly to their Mommy dearest and I don't like them judging about my character. Never know what innocent comment will go down as what!
              I always thought of me being a little distant from my mom. I was never her tail. I could deal with my issues like some fee receipt problem in school ALONE. My mother never had to queue in the long line of parents waiting for paying fees. I always did that myself. It was only when my school building got repaired and I told my friends, " Fee counter has shifted to first floor" and they asked me "Where was it earlier?" I realised that none of them ever knew what has to be done to pay fees!
               I never went home crying and bombard my mother with how my friends were acting difficult or why a teacher was being particularly rude with me. That was just not me.
               Cousins trusted me with their secret because they knew I never go telling Mommy about it. When one of them got married to her boyfriend my mother asked, "You knew all of it, didn't you?" But she never bugged me as to why I never told her.
               She wouldn't call me every ten minutes when I go out with friends. Only a call when it is past 10 and she would ask where I was. She trusted me to come home. She is not the kind of mother who will call up my friends if my battery dies. She never calls me so many times to know when my battery dies and she also knows that I will call up somehow if I m going to be late.
               My mother is a working woman and she neither has the time nor the nature to cook up stories in her mind at the slightest change in my mood. She has always given me SPACE.
              Some days back she was leaving for the native place alone. She was ironing her clothes in  my room. I was sleeping. She came over to my bedside and gently brushed my hair, "My baby is so cute..sleeping like a small child." She didn't know I heard.
              My eyes were aching due to all the strain I had taken reading and the time in front of the laptop. I told her that my eyes were paining.
              She brought some cotton wet with water. She placed it on my eyes. She replaced the wet cotton every 10 minutes. Even after she went she called to ask if I rest enough and not study much.
              I realised how much I depended on her.
            Right from her waking up early to cook my food to taking care of me when I fall ill.

I often talk with S about our future. The time is coming closer when we will have to tell at home. I realise that roughly 3 years I have with Mom.
She was making idlis last sunday and packing up the vessel she specially uses to make idli. I told her "I want one too!"
She said, "To take to your husband's house? I will buy one to give you."
She paused sometime looking at me. Till now it was just leg pulling about marriage, in laws, husband when we spoke of marriage. First time we both became senti..
I m about to step into my twenties. The most important decade of my life and finally I have become a "Mumma's girl."

First time in so many years I told her, "Don't go to native, I miss you. You don't miss me? You don't call me enough."
She was surprised or overwhelmed I don't know. I m never too vocal about my love. I just keep telling, "Mom you don't love me enough. You always love bro." She didn't know what to answer and then said, "How can I not miss you. I always think of you."

As I write this tears brim in my eyes. I have been thinking too much of my love.. My love for S , my love for a life with him.. What didn't cross my mind is that I will have to be without the person who first taught me to love.
Who first taught me to draw an elephant.
Who first taught me to make a rangoli.
Who first introduced me to the world of books.
Who first taught me to make rotis.
Who filled my purse before it ran out of money.
Who became Santa for me every Christmas.
Who shops with me and waited patiently for hours.
Who realises what I don't have before I even say.
Who cooks my favorite dish when I say its been long since I ate it.
Who brings home the same food for which I had been craving, without me even saying!
Who stores my photographs in a pouch in her handbag.
Who forgives me for all the mistakes I do, without me even saying sorry..


Sujatha Sathya said...

by the time i came to the last line of the poem my eyes were moist. you know, if my daughter (who is just 5 now) grows up to write one page like this, i would cry the whole night - happy tears, very very happy ones. there's something about this bond that cant be fully expressed in words but you've managed beautifully.

will u show this post (on a separate word doc - i know ur mom is not allowed into ur blog for obvious reasons) to your mother ?

Alcina said...

I am till date like as you described the first half of regarding school and all..and as you typed down the list i realized that yes somehow i am a mumma's girl..thanks a ton..
and you wrote it amazingly..about love :)

keep smiling always(u n for all of them you love)

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue said...

I literally have tears in my eyes. I am a total mamma's girl and a daddy's girl. Both of them have pampered me to no end and stood by me through everything. Sometimes I feel the only reason I am postponing marriage is because I am not ready to leave home and go :(

Red Handed said...

such a cute post!! I am a daddy's girl..but mom pampers me to death...she is the one who gets to hear all my temper tantrums and screams..I am a good girl before my daddy.
Really cute post!

M in love said...

@Sujatha: The last ones were the most spontaneous ones. Its not easy for me to write and I really don't know how my Mom will react. A lot of editing has to be done for sure :P However I will try to edit and make her sit and read it.. Just not sure when.. Needs courage :P

M in love said...

@Alcina : Yes realisation came late in my case! Thank you Alcina and I m happy this helped you to realise you are a Mumma's girl. We all are !

M in love said...

@TheGirlAtFirstAvenue : Aww I know.. Marriage is a big change and leaving home is the greatest one :(

M in love said...

@RedHanded: hehe thank you. I m lil scared of my dad but Mom gets the worst of my moods! Although me and Mom fight a lot I still bug her with my demands :P

Jane Doe said...

I am a mumma's gal too. same like the one you have mentioned-- telling each and everything to mom. including fights with my boy friend.she understands me like no other. the best part is we have NEVER fought. not even once. My mom is not the bold ones, but very very naive and good at heart. I wish I was half like her.

Such an adorable post. love ya for writing this. :) keep loving your mom like ya always do

M in love said...

@Jane : Aww you and your mom would be best friends for sure! hehe you even complain about John to Mom!!

Thank you dear :)

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