Distance,moodswings ,plans and failures

                   Life is not exactly perfect at the moment.. Trouble has been brewing since last month.. I stayed away from the blog because I did not want any of my negativity to rub off onto this blog which I started with so much love.. It would only be fair to not leave it stagnated though..
                   Me and S are in two different cities.. I have been missing him badly for so long.. The distance is really heartbreaking, not so much because of the miles in between but because we haven't met for last two and a half years.. Yes, you heard it right.. Two and a half years we have just been talking on phone and seeing each other thanks to SKYPE and Yahoo!
                  Of late I m having some extremely irritating mood swings.. The hormones playing havoc in my otherwise sound love life.. Only a drop of a pin is enough these days to get my temper soaring.. Then I get this hopelessly depressing mood and I cry myself out for no central reason. It just could be S not calling me back or S not checking my snaps..
                   He is having his own problems at workplace and I feel I m just adding to it.. I  sometimes feel like cutting off from him for like days and sort myself out.. That is not an option because I simply cannot stay away from him. I need him, even if it is just for fighting. It's not that I enjoy fighting or arguing. I get drained emotionally instead. I just need to talk to him no matter what.. Sometimes I feel its a compulsive disorder.. Now I don't know what I am talking about..sowie!!
                 He is supposed to come to my city next week and guess what?? I m leaving for my native place that very date!!! For a family function! Now who do I cry out my bad luck on??
                 With this state of affairs I will go mental soon...
Enough of my venting out here.. Just hope that we meet pretty soon.. The distance is taking a toll on me.. Sometimes I think what have I done so wrong to deserve this? Probably God doesn't give you good things easily..
               S came into my life as a blessing and nothing can change that fact.. Even if we don't stay together forever ,I will always love him..
             
P.S: I think I should be back only when everything is alright...

Oops!! No time for love..

              The title says it all.. My exams are going on and S is busy with his work..

Called him up early in the morning.. No exam ever goes well without his, "All the best baba" ...

Was pretty worked up early in the morning .. Somethings at home made me fume with rage and turned my little romantic head into a pressure cooker.. Walked off with my study material and those lofty books with a lightening speed( you could never believe I can carry something so heavy and with so much speed otherwise). Gave him a misscall and a little smile curved my lips... I love his number !! 
     To listen to that lazy and sexy tone ( I know I m crazy about it  ).... something I just can't describe... I m not exaggerating, but the very voice does calm me down into a more passionate mood...
    Then the smile turned into blushing  .. That is S effect!!

I remember this one incident when I was talking to him on phone in train.. The moment I disconnected the call my friend said," It was him na?"
I was like , "Yeah how did you know?"
She told me," I don't know how to describe it.. but you get this distinct smile and blush when it's him on the other side.."
What could I do but blush some more !  

I would like to see that "distinct grin" though...  (I know S, I haven't told you about this one!! Things that make me smile to myself )

But wow!! 4 years and I still get that blush.. I m loving it...

 one more thing... S doesn't know to wink... Khi khi khi.. I m the master at it!! I find it kind of cute though when he tries to wink back and ends up shutting both his eyes... Awww.. too much now I know ...

You must have figured that I m missing him like hell.. Don't know when his meeting will end.. Waiting for his call ....

P.S Let the exam get over.. Will start posting regularly.. Other than S :P you must be getting bored nah??

Love it when...

Little note for S 
   Little things in love make it soo beautiful.. Little things about you make me soo mad about you...

1. Love it when you call me "meri jaan" and I forget all my complains..
2. Love to hear your sexy voice when you just wake up.. It makes me want to curl up next to you..
3. Love it when you explain technical terms to me.. ( I know I m too bad at it..)
4. Love it when you can't spell hard consonants like "kh" and "gh" and end up saying "kaana" for "khaana".. :) It sounds cute coming from you 
5. Love it when I m correcting you when you speak wrong hindi and you look at me like my small baby.
6. Love it when you use "Mumbaiyaa" terms .. I still don't know where you learnt those.. :P
7. Love that naughty smile, I know is just reserved for me 
8. Love to see you keep playing with the wires of the headphone..
9. Love it when I crack a joke and you don't get it and keep quiet.. When I tell you it was a joke you give me that "hahaha" 
10. Love it when you keep forgiving me for my mistakes... ( I m seriously the lesser sinner :P)

For all the little joys you bring into my life 

For my love

That deep calm voice 

which makes my pulse race..

Those long slender fingers

which caressed my face.

The only pair of eyes 

in which  I want to see me..

The comfort of those warm arms

where I want to be..

That steady shoulder I can

always lean my head on

If its you on the other end

theres no path I wouldn't tread

that only heart which knows 

the rhythm of mine..

That only soul which

can love mine so fine..

It's all you,it has always been 

coz you are the man of my dreams..

Kiss and Tell...

       Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last. -Remy de Gourmont


      I read somewhere that "If your first kiss is with the only you truly love, there are more chances that you two will always be together"...
      I have no proof how true it is but isn't that special memory enough to keep two people in their thoughts always? I mean however hard one tries to erase the memory, the first kiss will always remain etched in the deepest trenches of one's soul.. 
      The story of kissing a frog that will turn into a prince doesn't fit into this scheme of things.. The desperation of experiencing a kiss may lead some to kiss many such frogs down the way before they meet their prince. But they truly are robbed of a ecstasy surpassing all these thrills and that is having that first innocent kiss with the prince charming himself..

I would pledge by it that kissing your love is million times better than kissing someone just for the heck of it. 

      

        The hopeless romantic that I am, I m on cloud nine that there are more chances of me and S being together forever.. (yes, he is my Prince... what's  more, I m the lucky one to be his first too :P "blush" )

       The first kisses are the most unplanned and innovative ones.. From cars, bedroom (after marriage for some :P), theatres, to classrooms and trains too.. ( yeah, I have heard this unromantic places made romantic by a kiss :P). The inexperience, the clumsiness, the hesitation and the desire to make it the perfect one are all that make the first kiss so memorable..

       Mine was somewhere near to the sea.. perfectly romantic location.. with my hair ruffled by the wind and the sound of the waves tickling my eardrums.. ( here I stop because there is no viewer's discretion tag on my blog :P)

       

       So how many frogs did you kiss before the prince??

 A bit out of context but...

     Is it just me or does the word "snog" for "kiss" seem like "eating up someone's face" ??? gross word I say.. Every time I hear it I m turned off.. The romanticism of kiss is lost in "snog"..Don't you feel??

P.S : With all the hoopla surrounding the Royal wedding there is a sudden upsurge in girls tweeting on twitter that they too want a Royal wedding.. Yeah seems like straight from disneyland.. Fairytale like and what's wrong in wanting one like that.. Isn't that why fairy tales sell?? But now we are grown up and someone rightly tweeted in response..

"LOYAL WEDDING IS BETTER THAN ROYAL WEDDING"

 Smart tweet I must say here..

P.P.S : someday I will write about what kind of marriage I want.. (When S is a little more free to drop into my space ..Although he has heard enough of it :P)