Monday, 8 September 2014

Of wedding and shopping!

             Since the last post about our wedding announcement, life has changed by leaps and bounds. S and I were amused and unprepared for the ease with which our relation was accepted and the speed with which our marriage preparations were set in motion. It seemed like we were dreaming, for a long time. With our wedding being 3 months away, the reality is finally sinking. We are going to be man and wife on 7th of December, 2014 at 11.23 am!

             When it was decided that our parents would meet on 31st March, little did I know what that day had in store. I met his family in a temple. Later, they asked everyone to talk about it at length at their home. I wasn't allowed to be present as girl isn't supposed to go to the guy's house before marriage. It pissed me off big time. I was sent off to an engagement where some of my relatives were present. I waited in anticipation and anxiety. When my parents came to pick me up, Dad told me that the wedding is fixed for 7th of December. I was speechless! I was annoyed at S for not being with me and overwhelmed by the proximity of the wedding. I was taken over by mixed feelings. Scared, happy, annoyed, tensed. The next whole week wasn't easy on S and me. We had our arguments, endless chats and his constant assurance that everything would be fine.

            I was a little taken aback by the kind of approach his family had. Joint families, unbending traditions, lack of independent decisions. I have grown up in a nuclear family and have been used to making my own choice and standing by it. Moreover, a lot of emphasis on individual preference was given in my house. I wondered if I would fit in with a family that made collective choices. Would they like me? Would they find me arrogant and selfish? Would I feel myself if I tried to please them? It was a battle of individuality for me. I place my individuality on a high pedestal. I am immensely guarded about my planning and hate it if I lose control. It took a lot of convincing from S that he wouldn't make me do anything I don't want to. That family expectations won't weigh on me once we are in Bangalore. It would be just S and me.

          S came to meet me in July. It was a secret date. I wasn't still comfortable with the idea of telling at home that I am going with S. He surprised me with a fashion jewellery set. Just the day before our date, Mom and I had gone shopping. There she set eyes on a similar kind of jewellery and bought it for me. When I saw the gift that S got me, I couldn't help thinking about the similarity in their selection!
         If there is someone I trust blindly when it comes to shopping, it is my Mom. I need her with me to tell me if it would be good for me. I make foolish choices when I shop alone or with others. The only exception is S. If I have no choice but to shop without Mom, I constantly click pictures and ask S for his opinion even if I have friends waiting outside the dressing room! He is always ready to help me with shopping and that is one thing that I absolutely adore about him. He doesn't just accompany me to the shop and wait outside but actively participates in what I am buying. For a person who is as confused as I m while shopping, it has to be a big plus in the man I am going to marry.
        For past one month, weekends are dedicated to shopping. There is a never ending list of things to buy. I wonder how I am going to take it all!

       September end I will be going to Mangalore again. My cousin sister is getting married. S and I are going to shop for the bridal saree and jewellery along with our families. I am excited and can't wait for September 24 to come.

       Today I packed my first bag. Yes, it was tough. The freshly dry cleaned festive clothes were lying around for a long time. Mom had told me to pack them in the bag and arrange all the stuff that I shop every week. I have been delaying it. As the 4 anarkali suits and one sari was neatly placed in the bag, I felt a heaviness that I haven't experienced before. 3 months are all I have in this house, this city.. At evening, when I went to the Ganesh pandal, I had goosebumps on seeing the large idol. There is a long association of 22 years. When I was barely a year old, the Ganesh idol would be placed right behind our house. In the coming years, it shifted to the large ground. Today as I had  eyeful of the elephant God, I was teary. Why are good byes so difficult? Would I ever get to see my beloved idol again? It is a stupid question to ask because God is where faith is. But do the bonds of memories untangle so easily?



Keirthana said...

First things first, *Hugs*

Don't worry dear, if you are welling up, aloow yourself to be. You owe it to all these years of your life, memories and people around you. But at the same time remember youa re not actually leaving things behind, you take them with you to another place and build them even better with your touch.

You are going to another place filled with love, to begin a new journey and to make a lot of your loved ones' life better. So let the emotions flow, just take care they don't trouble you.

Everything will be fine and I have to tell you this, even if life throws some lemons in, none of those will matter when you stand by S at that moment when you get married. Everything will blur out. You wait and see if you come back here and agree with what I have said :)


P.S: I am so happy for you that I have tears in my eyes now. I get how you feel since I have been through the same thing.

Alcina said...

I am really happy to see a post from you after a longtime. It might seem pretty hard now that you have to leave one home but the thing is you can always comeback. As i collect S is so supportive towards your decision so you should have no worries about that. I wish all the preparation go smoothly and i wish you both all the good luck. Take care M and S. Love you guys :*

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