Falling in love all over again..

              Yes I have fallen in love again. This time fully knowing what I m getting into. When I fell in love five years back, I was naive to the ways of love and to what a relation means. I faltered and erred. Much more than I would have realized then. I ran out of love, sometimes too indulged in my own worries. I hurt.. a lot more than I was ready for. Just when I thought I have experienced all that love holds, I fell in love. All over again. With the same man 
           
              12th June, early morning (8 a.m :P) Sagar restaurant.
             
             S and I had gone to have breakfast at this place. Now this restaurant is on the first floor and has its kitchen on the ground floor. The cash counter, where S and I were standing, was just close to the stairs at the entrance. He was waiting to make the payment when he realized we left behind the bottle of water on our table. He asked me to fetch it. I made one smart movement, my attention fully on my target -the bottle! Little did I know that the moment I turned, the floor had given way to the stairs :P And there went I , down the stairs!
             I thought I would go straight to the ground floor but luckily I got my grip and held on after falling 4 to 5 steps. Damage was already done. The entire floor had its eye on me
                                               
           While I was sliding down the stairs  thoughts  on my mind were:

1. The entire floor is watching you! Run!!!
2. S is hiding his face maybe! What a clumsy girlfriend he has :P 
3. What if S shouts at me for being so stupid? In front of everyone!
4. My behind hurts :P and my hands are burning!!!

         I got up to see S all worried and right there. Instead of getting mad at me ( I could have done something toofani like break my head with that stunt of mine) he pulled me closer to ask if I was alright. Not once bothering to look around and see how many people were watching us.That won me 

        Although I kept bickering over how stupid I looked due to the fall , it was done away with his reassurances ! 

        Thank you S for all the wonderful ways you care for me 

        51.. Love it when we talk utter nonsense and keep arguing about who speaks the right mother tongue.

              

     

        52.. Love it when you hold my hands and say nothing and yet I feel everything.  

        53.. Love it when you leave those messages in my inbox while I m away.. 

         

        54.. Love it when you call me your gudiya.. 

        55.. Love it when you shy away when I make you smile while you chat from office 

        56.. Love it when you hold  me like nothing is going to take me away from me 

        57.. Love it when you listen to all that I blabber and when I ask you "What did I just say", you are able to say my exact words !!!  

        58.. Love the way we keep teasing each other with all kind of names!! 

        59.. Love the fighting with you.. 

        60.. Love the fact that you have given me the best two days of my life.. 

           Love you sooo much S !

Dreams

                          If there had been one thing about me that I would have liked to change then it would have been my dreams. No, not the ones that I see with open eyes ;). 

                          The clarity of my dreams never ceased to amaze me. It has this almost life like quality to it. Nothing seems blurred or hazy like they show in dream sequences. Its as real as it could get to the point that I sometimes have to wonder if I saw a dream or was it real occurence.

                          On the brighter side, I have had some experiences for which I long in my real life. Its been months since I met S, but every now and then I get a dream so clear about him where I actually feel him close. Just because the memory of his touch, of his presence is so fresh in my mind. I can't thank my subconcious enough for playing it in my dreams! 

                          

                         I rarely share my dreams with anyone because they seem so ridiculous and end up becoming the butt of jokes. Just because I m so overwhelmed with the experience, I sometimes need to share it with someone. It backfires on me sometimes though.

                         

I came early from college one day and I was so exhausted that I went for an afternoon nap (which I rarely do). I saw myself going into the kitchen and I realised that the gas stove was on. I tried to put it off when suddenly the next stove started to burn. I panicked, not realising what to do. 

The same evening I recounted the whole dream to my mother. She told me "Call the neighbors if something like that ever happens". 

The very next day the gas cylinder got over. I wasn't at home but when I returned my father asked me, "Did you really forget to put the stove off before you went to sleep? How come the gas got over in just 15 days?" 

My mom was actually confused because of how accurately remembered my dream that she thought it actually happened and told it to Dad! Never again I m telling her my dreams!

I was very angry at her and told her that I had no business in the kitchen that day so there arised no doubt that I didn't put on the stove . Maybe she believed it later when I pointed out the various ways in which the gas was getting wasted! 

               Its funny how minute details of day to day life manifest themselves in my dreams like a whole new picture!

              Something related to gold coins fell on my ear last week. I had not even paid much attention to the story. Later S told me how his machine parts looked like bullets and how it kept getting scanned. 

              Later that night I saw a dream in which me and S were shopping. He was buying gold coin and asking for a shop selling bullets!!! I cannot put down my reaction to that. 

              When I told him about it, he laughed and me and said, "Maybe I was buying bullets to kill you. You might have been demanding for gold coins from me! You saw future ka dream maybe" :D

                                              

               

             It goes on the point when we don't have anything to say and he asks "Aur koi sapna dekha tumne?" and suddenly we have a topic to talk! 

                  

            Why would I want to change having these dreams? Because they are equally real when its a bad dream. Tormenting, mentally disturbing and stays on in my memory. I don't watch horror movies for the same reason. They come back to me associated with the people I love. 

            I become unusually clingy to S and keep checking on him. If he is busy and delays calling, I m a wreck. 

           Even if I keep telling myself not to be so annoying and get so paranoid, I can't help thinking about it. 

        

           Last night was a bad night. In the morning , when I called S, he told me he was busy. When it crossed more hours than usual the bad thoughts started. I busied myself cleaning up my room and doing the laundry but kept checking the phone all the time. Numerous times I thought the phone is ringing only to find that its the song playing in the neighborhood! 

           At last in the evening I texted him that I was worried and only when he called back, I could heave a sigh of relief. 

           If only I could delete the bad dreams!! 

Chup Chupke (continued)

    continued from Here 

       I walked into the subway with no option but to text him myself. By this time I was going mad with anger or frustration! Nevertheless I kept walking and stole a few minutes to text him to tell that I was going on another platform.

                 He replied back that he just entered the station. 

                 We were walking towards the AC lounge room when I receive a text again. "If you are on the front side of train number xyz give one missed call and if you are on the behind give 2 missed calls".

                 From where I was, I couldn't even see this train XYZ. What was I supposed to do? So I texted him again that I was going to the lounge room.

                 Now this lounge room is all closed and you can't see anyone from the other side. No sooner did I settle down in the lounge than it was thought by all of going to eat in the neighboring restaurant on the station. Since we had less than an hour to eat the next door restaurant was deemed appropriate. Leaving aside 2-3 members (to look over the luggage) the rest of us were rushed into the restaurant. Right at that time I get a text " I m outside the lounge". So again I had to text him that I m in the restaurant!! Uff!! I had not yet seen a glimpse of him..

                  The restaurant was like a small canteen with tables randomly scattered and places occupied. So our whole group got distributed around. While my parents occupied the table diagonally behind mine ( I was with my brother), the rest of them were sitting all about the place.  A middle aged man was sitting in front of me too occupied with his large thaali.

                  Right then S texted me that he wouldn't come in as the restaurant is too small ( S were you serious when you said "me choti  moti jaga pe nahi khata??", I seriously wondered this!) and he would wait outside. My dad was busy placing the order so I could quickly give S a call and asked him to come inside and have something too. The man sitting opposite me gave me a look and then got busy with food. 

                  I looked around ( I couldn't see the entrance from where I was sitting) and then I saw S walking towards the counter and my heart went on to do a mini jig. Yes!! Finally I saw him!

                  He was standing right next to my Dad and that was enough to get me nervous. I kept looking at the counter even though my thaali was served. The man sitting opposite to me was done and I texted S to look behind and just come and sit there. But he did not see his cellphone. As soon as he got his plate he turned and I pointed out to the seat in front of me with the enthusiasm of a small kid. My brother got shocked at this daredevilry of mine. As S settled down on the seat I couldn't take my eyes off him. He looked at me and gave a quick smile. 

                  My brother whispered to me, "Are you crazy? Dad is here!! What if he sees him?" 

                  I was just too happy to worry about it right then, "Don't worry Dad won't know!" I said.

   So we had this very filmy type of a lunch where I kept stealing glances at him and kept blushing.  The food was bland and with great difficulty I was swallowing it because it was the reason I could see him. I couldn't stop  myself from smiling and looked away when my Dad saw me! 

                  I almost thought "I m dead" when he came to my table and asked me what happened! I told him that I was looking for spoon. Thank God for those Southern restaurants which didn't serve spoons with meals. Dad asked for spoon and got me a spoon and then went back to his table. Hush!

                 But this made S all the more anxious I feel and he hurried up his eating. I couldn't keep up with him and neither did I like that food. So when he went to wash his hands, I left the rest of the food and went after him, inviting a raised eyebrow from my brother. 

                 When I entered into that handwash area I tried hugging him and he pushed me! I had something written for him on a paper which I think fell somewhere there. At that moment I was more concerned about his storming off than the paper. Frankly, I was even hurt by his behavior. So when he went out I returned to my seat next to bro and waited. Dad told me to go wait in the lounge.

                 I was about to go into the lounge when I got a text "Bahar ladki ne dekha". I looked up and saw that he was standing outside the lounge. I went to him and told him that I had got something for him which I lost. He told me that one of the girl in our group had seen us. He told me that the handwash area could be seen from where people were sitting. So basically I had upset him. 

                 I went to the lounge and sat and thought about it. The europhia was over and worry took place. I asked him if he would wait till 3 and he said yes in a very irritated tone. 

                 The next half hour I couldn't feel at ease. I was feeling nervous. When we finally came out to go to our train once again I tried to search for him. I couldn't see him anywhere. The whole process of looking for every male started. When we were a little away from our coach I saw him standing at the door of my coach. As we were approaching, he moved ahead. I kept staring at his back.

                 I kept pacing the coach but the relatives wouldn't let me go out of their sight.  I couldn't manage to see him again. Looking at the circumstances, I had already achieved quite a lot :)
                 Later when the train started and we took our places I found time to call S. I was happy that he did not mind that debacle I did in the restaurant as much as I thought he would. So yes one panga less in life! I was busy dreaming the rest of the journey!

                 When you are so away from the love of your life what can  you not do to just see them for half an hour? This unexpected half hour was more than enough for us although at that time I kept whining how I could have seen more of him if he had come before my train arrived and we  would not have wasted so much time just struggling to catch up. Seems like everyone had business with him in those 15 minutes that mattered!
                 This thrilling date that we had will go into those stories that we will someday remember and laugh at when we are old and wrinkled and still together and still falling in love with each other ;)
                                            

                 

                

Chup Chupke

                         Just in case you have been wondering if I ran away and shut this space- No I haven't :)

             The recent dearth in posts can be blamed on my blood sucking college and my very busy other half- S. 

                

          So we are in the 5th year of our relationship and the very famous 5 year itch gets to us sometimes. Like it did 2 weeks back. I was ready to go out of town for a week when something trivial started up and got blown into a major fight between us. So much that I had mentally prepared myself to not talk to S ever.

 2 days away from him- I thought maybe I should wait till he talks to me.

3 days away from him- Ok I will wait till Valentine's Day. If he doesn't talk to me till then , its the end of it! 

4th day I got to know that I will be in his city for full 1 and a half hour (only on the station though) and I m confused!

The angry half- " So what? It's just one and a half hour and anyway the whole family is going to be there. There isn't much that you can do anyway. And you are PISSED OFF! 

The "i-m-mad-but-i-love-him-madly-still" half- " What if things go well and you realise you missed this opportunity just because of your ego? It's Valentine's month and you are about to get what you want the most- To see him! 

So while the bride and groom (What ? Didn't I tell you I went to attend a wedding ? Well that was one of the reasons :P) were posing away for the photographer who thought himself as some big-shot modelling photographer, the ladies busy with very important debate on the design of the silk saree and the men of the group deciding where to party in the evening, I sat all alone battling this very serious question of my life. 

I did what I do when I confused- Give him a mised call :D. I thought - "If he calls back, I will tell him." If he doesn't then I can blame it on him." :P 

He called me back to tell " I m still waiting for you and haven't run off with anyone else, if that's what you are checking"

Couldn't help smiling at that. 

So I told him that I will be in his city the day after and asked him to check the train details and all after I message him the details of my journey. 

He was somewhat unsure of the whole plan. He kept asking how he will meet me in front of everybody (with chances of Mom recognising him). 

If apprehensions were part of my behavior, I wouldn't have made it this far ;) So I told him to be there and rest will be taken care of.

The next 2 days were full of planning. With the help of my two friends I could send him all the details and happenings. I couldn't text him directly so these two friends relayed the messages. I was just a few hours short of seeing him. I couldn't believe the turn of events.

I called him once that day. After that short call I said, "Milte hai kal"

He was still worried and said, "Milte kaise hai?"

I said, "Ok thik hai, dekhte hai kal" :P 

I was as clueless as he was about the whole idea! 

My train was supposed to reach his city at 1:30 and the next train for my city was at 3. So that roughly gave me 1 and a half hour. He messaged me that he would be there my 1:30. Contrary to the tradition of Indian Railways, the train reached dot at 1:30. Not a minute of delay.

I was expecting him to be already waiting in front of my coach so he could not lose me in the crowd. I got down all excited to see a platform with no one around. Once again I gave him a missed call. He texted me, "I will be there in 15 minutes." 

15 minutes! I was worried. In 15 minutes I could reach the furthest platform from the one I was on. I looked around restlessly. What if the entire group decided to wait at some other place? How would I inform him? 

Thankfully the men went to check the next train schedule and asked us to wait at the same place. So we waited for more than 15 minutes there during which I looked as far as my eyes could see. Every approaching male was looked at until he came at a distance close enough to know that it wasn't S. Restlessness now gave way to anger.

The 15  minutes were over. The children in the group were hungry and the ladies went around to buy some snacks for the time being. I was offered snacks but I had no appetite to eat and ended up snapping at one of them. 

The men were back and it was decided that we wait on some other platform (like I worried). I picked up my bags and dragged myself slowly behind them. Being the last one in the group. I was still looking around. 

"Did he find something more important? Would he not come?" I saw myself wondering..

                                                 

(to be continued) 

P.S: To be continued is just to keep the post short( as I see it is already getting too long ) and not to keep the readers in suspense. The other part will be up in a short time :D 

Of missed calls and Waiting!

                                                         
                 When you are in love, a larger part of your life consists of waiting. You are always looking forward to something. The whole love story can be summarized in just one word - WAIT. The wait to get together!
                 In long distance love the wait gets an entire new meaning. It is what keeps the days rolling.
               
                 Our love story is the love story of me, S and our phones.
                 Ever since we started talking on phone, S would insist I give him a missed call and he would call me back. He is not the one who would call first. Extra precautions by Mr Virgo (although that does save us sometimes) to make sure no one but me receives it. Then the relation evolved and new modifications came into the missed call rule.
                  A missed call will be responded to anytime he is free. If he calls and I m busy ( doing important things like watching TV or bathing or lesser things like attending lectures) then I have to give another missed call when I m available and the cycle repeats.
                 Two-three back to back missed calls means "EMERGENCY" and if it is a false alarm then a good deal of lecturing from S is called for!
                 On weekends the time period for calling back is only 3 minutes. Uske baad time out! Try again after next missed call..
                  Due to this missed call cycle that has actively been working for last 4 and half years it has now become second nature for me to check my phone every 5  minutes after giving a missed call and  everytime I come out of the bathroom. Since the phone is always on vibrating mode, my ears and sensations have become so much tuned that I can hear any phone vibrating in a crowd! My dad thinks I have special powers to listen to ultrasonic things :D :D
                  The worst thing about a fight with S is that there is no hope of getting a call. Ruthless he is sometimes. I stare at the screen and it gives me the blank look as if saying, "How can they do this to us?" No wait, no missed call and no passing of time. Days are the longest and even though I pretend to be busy, the ears are on high alert for a call. In the end I give up and give a missed call..
                There was a time (the worst ever) when he would call only on landline and I told him, "If I give you one missed call, you can call me anytime after that but if I give you another missed call then it means don't call!"
                 I gave him a missed call and shortly Dad came. So I gave him another missed call. Then my Dad went out again so I dashed to my phone and gave him a call but no reply!
                 I waited for more than an hour near the landline.
                 Next day I asked him, "Why didn't you call?"
                 He replied, "You told to call on one missed call and not to call on second. You didn't tell me what to do for the third!" What could I say to that.. He wins over me  :P
               
                 Here I wrote this whole new post while I was waiting for S to come online. He gives me a missed call which means, "I m home and online!". Yes we have this language of missed calls. So off I go until next time. Waiting does make you creative ;)
                 Its worth all the wait when that voice you love so much says, "I love you" and it never seems  enough!
 
P.S: My dear Phone is very critical. Gets switched off when I slide it. So I m gone to those pre mobile revolution generation. Can't text! Only receiving calls and giving missed calls to those who text. Sigh! Pray for me and my phone.

        

No one can love you like I do..

 Dear S,

When a girl risks everything she ever wanted in life, she is scared to lose you.

When a girl stops thinking if she is doing what she feels right, she had dared it to be with you.

When a girl worries if you will come back to her, she has bared it all to you.

I might not be so trusting of your promises- I dread to see them failed.

I might not be as patient as you would like me to be- I m uncertain of the future.

I might make it seem like there is no tomorrow- I ache at the thought "if there is no you.."

There is nothing in this world that can rest my insecurities but YOU..

There will be no one in my heart like  YOU..

There is no one in this world who can love you like I do.. 

Chalk and Cheese..

"There is nothing in him to be so mad about him.. So don't be stupid to tell him that you love him.." this is what my diary read on a day in 2007. He wasn't the guy I used to think of as "Mr Right".

A few months  later..

I used to think to  myself.. "we are so different.. I wonder if it will work out.."           

I had no idea how different when I was writing this! 

To start with, I was a chatter box and he "hmmm" "haa" type. For the first few weeks we used to talk long silent pauses of more than 20 seconds.. Yes, that less we had things to talk of. 

When we actually began talking I realised that I had not even seen the tip of the iceberg called differences.

From the most basic things to the most complicated decisions- we are poles apart..

He is an early to bed and early to rise person,( just remembered "early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise..and makes his girlfriend run away with other guys") while I m the one who likes to stay up late and get up even more late.. 

He  believes in "eat to live" and I m the "love to eat" type of person. They say "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach". Doesn't apply here. There are only a handful things that he really, like truly, likes to eat. There are only a handful of things which I really, like come what may, don't like to eat.. 

He is order personified. Virgo trait I might add. From folded clothes to neatly sorted and classified email folders! Not a single unread spam. 

Me on the other hand, I have to empty my wardrobe to find a tshirt and still deep within for smaller clothes. My mailbox is clogged with 101 mails as of now and I clean it only when it gets difficult to understand spam from genuine. The good thing is I got the idea of making folders (from him ofcourse) although I hardly fulfil their purpose. There was one time when I had to urgently check a mail and I had no connectivity. I told him to check my mail and he was like, "Kitne mahino se nahi khola ye email id?" and order that he likes, he cleaned my trash mails too.

I m the calender and the data bank. From his nephew's birthday to the names of all people he might have mentioned once, I keep note of all he says. 

I once called him on August 2nd, just tried some fun..

"happy anniversary" with excitement..

"happy anniversary.... " (with a confused pause)

"aaj humare relation ko 4 years ho gaye" 

"ha.. congrats! fir aaj kya plan hai?" and I started with my never ending answer..

"Okay..rakhti hu.. waise aaj humari anniversary nahi hai.."

"Wohi!!! (euphoria!!) 2nd september hai na? Me kab se soch raha hu!" 

"Fir bola kyun nahi?" 

"Maine socha tum confuse ho gayi ho.. Fir socha agar me wrong hua toh tum gussa karogi, anniversary bhi yaad nahi raha bolke!" 

"Accha"

"Haa fir tum khush thi toh maine socha kyun bolke mood kharab karu!" (see that's how he gets away with it..) 

I love chinese and junk..yummy junk.... He eats when I order it :P 

I want to talk things out when something bothers me.. He wants distance..

I m a book lover and he is sports page reader.

I love to cook what I know to cook and he won't even make bread butter. I have given up the hope that he will stop eating so much outside. 

I speak out my feelings..a lot.. I like to pamper and I like to be pampered. He is the total opposite. This is the only area where he is slowly changing and we aren't so different here now.

He is my conservative guy. "No intercaste" and all that. I have more open out look and such things often lead us to fights.. So these things are often put under carpet now..

He is outright practical and I m the emotional fool.. Don't get me started here..

He will bother more about the negative and I will start dreaming of the positive.. Again typical traits of a virgo and aquarius..

He is the planned kind of a person and I m the spontaneous one. This is not just about him going to the exam completing his entire studies and then even revision (seriously I never thought of doing that since I came in degree college) and me going with "95 % ho gaya hai, 5 % ho jayega in train and college..matlab first time padhke.. fir revision ka time mila toh :P "

I have been stupid and told him that I love him. Two distinct people, two different backgrounds, two different decades (huge difference between 80s and 90s), two different paths that crossed and decided to go together.. It feels miraculous as each day passes and still the "love you" and "miss you" never sound boring or less genuine.

When I get a text, "Call me as soon as you leave exam hall.. Missing you badly!!! really!!!", it makes my heart skip a beat and I still think of thousand raised to thousand reasons for the text.. only to find that he was checking "way to sms" service is working fine or not! Such a brat sometimes! 

Only love can make such things happen.. Opposites do attract.. No one wants to live with a clone.. But opposites can fight forever.. For me and S, we have gotten on each other's wrong side so often that we have literally spent most of our 4 years fighting.. Its in the 5th year that we have somewhat come to terms with each other and dare not be reason to infuriate each other :P 

Perfect is not when compatible persons are together. It's when you both are opposite but in that way you complete each other..

Chalk and cheese are finally making peace.. I want to be the cheese coz its soft, delicious, yummmy :D :D 

Note: The post got inspired by Opposites Attract? Ridiculous!!. That was the guy talking and he is a poor not so orderly aquarian like me :P :P 

4 days holiday for the next exam.. S finally gave the password.. So facebook happening today.. What weird passwords he comes up with! I can't guess and crack :P :P 

image credit: google 

Simple is best!

            Today I spent the better half of my day trying to change the look of my blog. Actually the work started yesterday when I came across PeeVee's beautifully designed header. Since I m pathetic with designing ( I don't know to work on Photoshop!! Jeez I m hopelessly behind time!) I did the next best thing- went on a hunt for that PERFECT TEMPLATE. I was using the SIMPLE template offered by blogger template designer so far. The only creative touch I gave to my blog was the variations in the background when I got bored of looking at my blog or jealous of the awesome designs the blogworld is coming up with.

            So I downloaded a few XML files from btemplates and discussed each and every look with a gmail friend. Since this friend and me have similar likes in the writing space (yea I discovered it only after we started discussing the look) we tried best to come up with a good combo. Sigh! The number of times I have uploaded and edited templates!! Tauba tauba atleast for 3 months I m not going to download a template!

            It was a Monday so I had a lot of time (read planned free time) at hand which I devote to S. So while he gave me breaks in between alright its sounding like a lecture or something, the breaks here means the time he went for lunch, did office work, took power naps I quickly logged into blogger and tried doing some more keeda with my blog look.. 

            Finally I liked a look and then came the problem of adjusting its title. So there I went into adjusting its length in the CSS code and mahn! I suck at searching these codes. That was only part of the problem. This new look forbade me from putting up gadgets ! like the most essential ones-- Followers! So I tried playing more with the codes while my dear S stared at me working my fingers so furiously on the laptop. As much as I wanted to keep it from him, the tapping on the laptop drew his attentions. 

            He kept giving me the LOOKS and made some sounds on the speaker when I came out of the trance and I was like, "Thoda wait karo, mere blog ki maa behen ho gayi hai" :P :P Swear maine ye words kabhi use nahi kiya! I guess its the effect of reading blogs which use this language. But the good part is we both burst into peels of laughter 

            So finally when I adjusted the title head, I went "Waah me toh genius hoon". But this so called inflation of ego was short lived. I couldn't do anything about the gadgets. So at the end of the day after wasting like hours I came  back to the old one.. Thank goodness for the brains I had to save this one! I love this simple look where I can change whatever element I can just by going to design and not some CSS code.. 

            

 I would now just restrict myself to changing the backgrounds or some images and nothing more. Atleast until I find something just perfect and simple for my much beloved blog. Just goes to say that simplicity is better than the overdone crappy look and certainly better than copying. Lesson learnt! 

 After much pleading I got my facebook password from S for just one day. Seriously I m disappointed. Just 5 notifications in the 1 week I was away!! Hmppph! And 3 requests from useless people (read people I deleted from my friends list). Makes me feel that nobody came online or everybody is studying!! So I better gear up.. Long night ahead with lots of mugging to be done. 

S this is for you,

you know why :) Love you more than elephants! :D :D 

P.S: If "Miss you like mango" ho sakta hai toh " love you more than elephants" fir bhi logical hai! What?? More than elephants matlab more than size of elephants!! 

P.P.S: I had a new visitor Sujatha and  my dear sis Pradeeta visit this afternoon on my blog. You both ladies -sorry for that ravaged condition my blog was in :P :P 

P.P.P.S: My last post was another attempt at doing something different and I was terribly bored.. The post was not so good but then again I realise I should blog for myself than for style.. According to S it was too boring :P :P Thank you 3 ladies who commented on it.. S was like, "ek bhi comment nahi ayega" :D :D :D.. If not for those 3 comments, I would have deleted that post..

Disappointments, fights and finally a love letter !

              We missed the Monday red! Inevitably the public holiday had to come on Monday.. I had been working like crazy cleaning up the house after it got painted. Choosing the color, thinking up combination can be fun but not inhaling the smell of primer and definitely not cleaning up the mess thereafter. Overworked, over harassed as I was even the much awaited Monday turned out to be hectic. Disappointment!!!!! 

              Added to it a lot of other things happened which made me super upset. I called up S to talk and he was sleeping away to glory which infuriated me even more. Missed call pe missed call was what I did and he switched off! Load the guns and get ready for the fight! 

              The next day was a disaster. I sooo hate fighting specially the energy draining ones! Adding insult to injury S decided to be busy and not fight back even though I was shouting my guts out. So that left poor little me whiling away sulking and waiting for a chance to bite. Quite literally !!

              Finally he called back with a calm tone (Jeez I tell you how thanda that is to my boiling blood). I went on complaining about how horrible he was and how he should be with the other girl (imagined by me and supported by him and then actually thought to be true by me) and not talking to me. Somewhere in between the whole scene he found something funny and started laughing. *Change of topic* and I suddenly lost what I was fighting about and he started pulling my leg and that pretty much ended it because no matter what I did I couldn't get that gussa back and grinned like an idiot. 

                      

    

This was what happened with exact same sentence but over the phone :) :) 

So the imaginary girl was forgotten after he promised that he was just playing along with my imaginations and there was no one other than me.

Then while I was home browsing, suddenly a tubelight lit in my mind, "What about the phone switching thing that initially annoyed me? Uski bharpayi kaun karega?" 

So I went over to my mail and emailed him with the first thing that came into my mind, "I WANT A LOVE LETTER ELSE I M NOT FORGETTING THIS FIGHT!!" 

     Seriously I didn't  have a love letter except the one someone wrote in school and on confrontation told that "mazak tha" :P :P 

     I remember reading those "personal letters" in those "art of writing letter" book that all of us refer for English letter writing during school and think of writing and receiving. Alas ! Our times are different and love is a mere text away (read 160 characters).

      

        To be true, I half expected S won't write the letter and simply let it pass. Imagine my joy when I saw the letter duly written and lying in my inbox!! Now I know of people who write love letters with Copy Paste from google and some even get it written from others ( I have written one for a friend :P :P khi khi khi) 

        It was the most original, true and hilarious letter ever read by me :D :D To top it all, it was written in my mother tongue ( alright OUR mother tongue) Tulu .. 

        I wouldn't translate the letter because that would steal the charm of it ( super cute :D :D ). I couldn't help smiling and laughing at the cuteness and funniness of it. "A letter can surely end a fight" 

        If you think the story ended here then WAIT.. Later at night while we were skyping he brought out the fact that I used a bad word for him during the fight. Yes anger can make you do such things. :( 

        Then started the drama. He acted as me and I acted as him. While I was trying to persuade him to forget the thing, he playfully started acting like me. Right from the bloated face, to pulling of hair in frustration (yes I do that, now stop gaping), to asking for silly things. Everything acted to the perfect T. 

        Finally I could bring back peace with some negotiations (Don't ask!). Its not for nothing that I say guys are easy to please.. :) 

        

        For you S, I loved your line "You are the rasgulla of my life.. I can't imagine my life without you". My filmy sweetheart I can't stop reading that letter! I have it byheart now!!

P.S: Coming soon "How to punish your boyfriend"

When mondays became red!!

             Never ever have I waited for mondays so much as these last few weeks! Monday blues suddenly became Monday red in our love story 

             I m super happy !!

             I got a good diwali vacation till 14th of November which is like awesome!! 

             Even though me and  S do talk on phone everyday, the skyping time is highly restricted due to our super busy schedules! Sundays were the only days we could chat at leisure but then the whole country (including my family) has holiday on Sunday.. The problem? Yes we can't talk on skype! Only seeing only seeing! (Annoying song na by the way! Himesh I tell you!). Also being Sunday I have to be super alert to not draw attention to myself.. So a large part of sunday (when S has holiday) goes waste.. 

            But then dhan te dan! He is working on Sunday and taking leave on Monday :) :) The reason for this weird pattern is powercuts in his industrial unit on Monday and ever since I got this new I m doing the duck dance (PeeVee this one I learnt from you )

            How I love monday now!! Can't just wait for sunday to get over :D :D 

            

Even though I m miles away from S (bless that person who started skype and yahoo video calling) I can see him all day if I wish to! 

It feels like we got teleported to each other's house! (How I wish) .. So close that I could almost grab him into a warm cuddle (the things that the stupid heart desires)

So Mondays we have been practically living on Skype! Talking endlessly and talking nonsense (mostly me) and S laughing, giggling and looking hottt :D :D 

                      

 Why do I feel you will say I remembered you after I ate the food?

41..I love the way you make those lame jokes on my love for food! Even if I say "hawa khaane ja rahi hu", you find it enough to make fun of me and say "Ha idhar bhi khaane ki baat!"

42..I love the fun we have while scribbling on yahoo!

 haha this is a yahoo scribble page!!

43..I love the 'x' and the 'o' we play and I love to do the cheating :) 

 44..I love it when we laugh on some random snap on facebook or some post I send you a link of :) 

45..I love it when you give me that cute adorable look which makes me fall in love with you again and again..

46..I love it when we play dumb cherads ( ok don't give me such looks, I accept we tried it only once and I DID the acting) and I don't know what you found so sexy to say out "MURDER !! MURDER!!"

47..I love it when you make that annoying sound with the speaker when I m looking at other things (like my facebook page) !! 

48..Love the time we have spent from me shying to sing for you "Bahut pyaar karte hai tumko sanam" and you said "Itni sweet ho!" and now when I shamelessly sing "Oolalalaoolala tu hai meri fantasy" and you say "Bas! ek toh sardi hui hai tumhe uspe ye torture!"

49..Love the sweetness that you bring into my life

My shweetoo shweet gulab jamun, love you more than all the sweets that I like !

50....And I love it when you call me rasgulla :D :D 

don't they look delicious together?? Ah so do we !

So this diwali vacation has become really special because of our monday reds :) 

You know what? I will always be with you S even if you snore ! 

JAB WE MET

Okay I m super duper late to post this. I was kind of trying to get back to reality after the total dream sequence of my life!
S came visiting last month and I was dream walking in that one and half days..
What happens when the love of your life meets you after two and a half year?? Well the emotions, the pent up expression, the happiness, the pinch of separation.. nothing, nothing can be put into words!

                                                    image by me!!

Well we were sitting in this park, when I had this idea of clicking a snap like this..
S was like, "You want to put this on Little things in love right?"
How well you read me S!! At that moment I was thinking of how good it would look and probably I could use it somewhere on my blog and voila ! you say it before I actually assemble my thoughts on it!

Its more than a month since we met, yet it seems like yesterday that you were holding my hand which fits perfectly in yours.. I guess that's what love does to people!

I don't know why I have this great fixation with S ka hand.. I mean I find it soooo cute.. slender fingers and look at those nails! Anddd it is so warm and soft to hold! Okay now too much mush I know!! I just love the feeling when those warm hands move across my face to pull that straying strand of hair back.. :) :)

There was so much going on in my mind to post but I guess I will fail to express my happiness in words!

P.S : I will be back before Diwali with some little things to do on Diwali :) 

Love it when..

31. Love it when you so easily predict what I would do. No one has ever known me as much as you. 

32. That giggle you give when I start with , "You know what??"  or that "Tumhe pata hai kya?" and you say "Nahi na"  

33. I love it that you tell me everything, even if that makes me sad. 

34. Love it when you are all sleepy sleepy and want to go to bed, but still you come online for 10 minutes just to see me . I love that sleeeepy look of yours.. Its sooooo cute!

35.  Love it when you are all busy but you still call and say, "Badi mushkil se time nikala call karne!" 

36. Love it when you indulge me like a small kid.. 

37. Love those sofffft hands !! 

38. Love it when you wear red because I lovvve you in red. You look so hotttt in red! 

39. Just love the future with you !! 

40.. Love it when I love life because of you 

Thank God !!you are there with me :D

       I m a little messed up in the head.. No it is not called "dimagi santulan me kharaabi' . I feel like that puppy who has suddenly been dumped by the owners in a crowded street.. A little disorientation is always there in me ( I m pathetic with directions!) but today I feel I m in a different space!
      Its funny how someone can fill your life in such a way that you are blind to everything else (example, the book lover in  you doesn't find a single stuff in CROSSWORD!! never ever has it happened to me!) and on his departure leave a void that nothing else can fill..
      How I miss that warmth around me..
     
If it weren't for S,
Who else would come so far to be with me?
Who else would get into the crowded trains just to get some more time with me?
Who else would show me directions when I get lost in my own city?
Who else would check my mails when I need to urgently see it while I have no connection?
Who else would hear me rant out my frustrations?
Who else would calm me down when I fume with rage?
Who else would hold me tight when I get disturbed?
Who else would wipe my tears when I silently cry?
Who else would know I m crying even if I don't show?
Who else would explain things to me which I had never noticed? ( I never knew about elevator sensors! I always saw them moving.. What was I doing??)
Who else would gauge my mood and smile at my excitement or nervousness?
Who else would understand my phobias and hesitations?
Who else would be more concious about my image than me?
Who else would move around me so protectively?
Who else would translate the Tamil movie for me ( when I missed the translation script!)
Who else would love me knowing every little fault of mine??

Thank God! I have you with me S..
Today is a special day to thank God, for making you so awesome.. for sending you all the way into my life and making it so beautiful.. for the most wonderful thing God did for me.. that is to make you :)

Happy birthday day Darling..  Even if I m not there with you today I m proud of you for working so hard.. for all the sacrifices you make.. You are totally the best partner I could have. A little more time, just a little more time and we will be together.. forever..

I really want that forever to start soon.



P.S Readers if you are super confused and wondering what happened to me then let me tell  you that its my S ka birthday !! And yes we did meet yesterday after more than two years so that is probably the reason of my insanity or lack of it :P More on that later.. Today is my guy's day :D 

Another year flies by..

         6 years back when I held your hand in an innocent gesture, little did I know that these were the hands I would want to hold on to forever..

           

When I saw you for the first time what did I know that this would be the smile that would bring a smile on my face?

that's my smile by the way :P 

You entered my life and it was never the same again.. 

If I could summarize the last 4 years of my life then I would say it was an "emotional roller coaster".

Seriously!! I never thought a single human would be able to bring out so many mood variations, so many feelings and so many outbursts from me! 

This post is going to be long and I know you are already scrolling to see how long it will run but what the heck! It's our anniversary!!!!!!! 

You made me dance with joy when you said awesome things to me  

You irritated me when you acted like a short term memory loss affected! (The what? what? you do when I m arguing!!!!) 

You stressed me to the point of making me an insomniac when you didn't bother calling me up after we fought.

You made me fume with jealousy when you talked of anyone else ( so what if I made fun of that girl when you tried making me jealous)

You made me scream, shout and cry ( and madddddd by saying silent!!) for more reasons than I can remember.

You were the one who made a teacher embarass me when my phone rang off in the classroom. (because you thought it would be fun to call me when  I can't attend it !!)

You made me feel better after that ( remember I was soooo depressed!!!) by talking to me and making me cheerful again 

You made me laugh so hard till it hurt to even open my mouth ,with your stories!! (kori da katta raid!!! ) 

You absolutely surprise me when you give me little rights over you... Like when you involved me in naming your company..
I can't tell you how happy I was when you showed me your card which had the name of the company , the name which I had initially  liked!!!

There are so many highs and lows I have felt being with you !!

Amazing how I m so totally decided that I want nothing to do with you and I want you so badly the very next moment!
No matter how much mad at you I m I always long to hear that, "ha baba, jaane do" from you.. You scare me when you get mad at me !

Do I need to tell you how much I love you? Its no use because that will never be enough!



21.. I love you when I ask you how far a place is and you actually tell me that in kilometers! 


22. Love it when you try to reach home early to talk to  me. 


23. I love it when you tease me for silly reasons. 


24. Love it when you remember small details of my life, no matter how unimportant.



25. Love it when you purposely disturb me when you know what I m upto.


26. Love it when you understand everything I want to say when I just give you hints. I don't have to get into uncomfortable explanations with you.


27. Love it when you say you missed me when you go on outings.


28. Love it when you say those filmy dialogues to make  my mood happy.


29. Love it when you educate me on things I never heard before. You have enhanced my local vocabulary like anything!!


30. Love the secrets that we share..

Another year of our love flies by and we are one year closer to being together... Happy 4th Anniversary Sweetheart.. I love you a lot..

P.S Our anniversary is on 2nd September but  something is wrong with my scheduling of posts.. Didn't want to miss the time S would come to read this :)