A little about long distance relationship

                      
Of the many things in our relation, distance has been the constant one. I and S live in different cities and thus our relation gets classified under what is called "Long distance relationship."

The one question that irritates me no end is, "What was the last time you guys met?"
The question touches the raw wound. More often the question is asked in a rhetoric sense giving you a sense of discomfort, as if questioning "Are you really in a relationship?"

Being in a long distance relationship, you are caught somewhere in between. You don't fit into the group of single friends because you are neither waiting for the Mr Right nor are you lamenting the "absence of a soul mate". You don't fit in with your hooked friends because you aren't bunking classes on Valentine's Day, or get pampered with Roses and chocolates or go on dates with the exquisite planning!

So you are mostly left to your own unless you find a girlie in a similar situation (which most definitely won't happen that easy).

Recently I met this very much in love (read not even 3 months into relationship) couple. They happened to be my school friends. The guy let's name him A and the girl let's call her T had made a detailed plan and added meeting up with friends as an after thought ( to show pics to their parents! Whatever excuse they had made, friends clearly figured big time in it as these people frantically clicked pictures even of people not with us!)

A stays in another city and T stays in mine. So these guys were drooling over each other while I was made the unwilling, uncomfortable witness! The other friends out of habit were turning out late.
So while I watched their PDA and glanced nervously here and there ( I clearly don't enjoy being the kabaab me haddi) A clicked many snaps of his darling T  and she kept on insisting he not spoil his "white colored Tshirt" leaning his arms all over the table. ( I never gathered what the matter was over that Tshirt!)

A asked me, "Then how is your S" (Ofcourse he doesn't call S as S.. But names are not to be taken on this blog ;))
I search for a neutral answer and reply as , "He's fine."
I don't talk any further and they feel its not normal! ( They are in that phase of love when they can't stop talking about each other. It is that novelty factor, "Oh she like softy", "Oh he sleeps all day!" )
They prod me some more and I curtly say, "Let's not talk more about that." because I m dead sure whatever I say, you guys will start your own lovey dovey story and I m so not in mood to listen to your sweet nothings!


I get that look and A can't resist asking, "You guys are still together right?"
That's the thing ! You don't want to talk about your love and people automatically think you have broken up! Long distance is under continuous speculations! No matter why you are not so bubbly, friends always think that the inevitable has happened.

I give back a smile and say, "Yeah all fine.."
Then T  asks me the hated question, "When did you guys last meet?"
I m left wondering why I turned up to meet these people!!!!!!!
I make a straight face and say, "Jan 2009."
I get the expected response!
Yes! That look you give a martyr! Heck I m none of it!
T says to A, "Look how she is living and you want to meet all the time." and he gives her one adoring look and says, "As if only I keep saying on the phone that I want to meet you." and I want to slap them both!

The late comers come to my rescue and thankfully the conversation is now about other things. I heave a sigh of relief!

When we are about to leave, A was about to forget his cellphone and quickly returns to pick it back and tells me,
"Phone is so very important for us, we would probably go mad if there was no phone."
I give him an understanding look over his stupid remark and say, "Who knows better!"
A, how I hate him for this, returns back my sarcasm and says, "I know you must be feeling terrible even if you don't show it."
I want to smash the bisleri bottle lying on the table into his bird brained head!

Although I get those admiring looks from the girlfriend-afflicted guys , it gets to my nerves when I m forcefully made to adorn that "all sacrificing" nature.
Long distance is a choice. No one forces you to continue long distance. If you do continue long distance, it means that there is something that gives you happiness. For me it is S. I want him in my life, long distance or otherwise and for that choice I really don't think I m making a sacrifice. Unless ofcourse, it would be a lifelong situation. In that case, I would definitely opt out.

Ofcourse, long distance relation is not all rosy..
There are times when you wish you too had your special someone sharing the umbrella with you on a rainy day..
Times when you will envy your friends being pampered by their lovers on Valentine's day..
Times when you will be depressed you cannot celebrate your birthday with your love..


I often talk myself out of these lonely thoughts with my vision of a future of 
 endless mornings I will wake up next to S..
The countless nights I will cuddle up with S .
The many birthdays, valentine's and rainy days we  will see together..Doesn't a few years of Patience look too less a price for that??


FYI, I m neither all too sacrificing nor too mature always! Long distance is not all WAIT for me. I have those mad days when I feel unloved and unflattered and get all teary. ( God bless that Guy S who puts up with me on my worst days!) Days when I have no patience and fight for every little thing..  I decide I had had enough of S and want to leave him but then come back to him. 
Then one of those days when I m sick and I get those calls and my sweetheart  S keeps asking, "How are you now? Did you eat?" I know that I made the right decision all along.. 


I may not get to see you as often as I like,
I may not get to hold you in my arms through the night,
But deep in my heart I truly know 
you are the one that I love 
and I can't let you go..


So you see, I m not always so angelic. Today is just one of my angel days :)

Love in times of internet..

           It all began on the internet.. Back in 2005, when I and S first met and then he went to his city, his mail id was all I had of him.. My first mail id was created long before that and due to no activity on it, got deactivated too. When S entered my life, a whole new world of internet opened up for me.
           In those days (I was in school) I did not have an internet connection at home and projects, made with the help of internet,still hadn't been heard of in the syllabus. Today even primary students operate the internet for the school projects but our school projects were independent of the internet. Encyclopedias and library books were still the most referred study material.
           It was just 2 days since he left for his city and I was missing him already. I remember the day I went to the internet cafe. It was a rainy afternoon and the cyber cafe wore a deserted look. I created my account taking a lot of time and struggling with the slow internet connection. Finally a mail was drafted and I battled if I should send it to him. After making a few changes, I finally clicked on SEND.. Then began the wait..
          The whole internet and mailing thing of course had to be kept a secret lest unnecessary suspicion be drawn to something that didn't even exist. It took more than two days for him to reply to the mail.. The cyber cafe had become alluring and the only way to reach him (he didn't even have a cellphone that time). We exchanged mails and then came the next step.. I invited him for a chat.. The time was decided upon and I was hoping that he turns up..
         Our first yahoo messenger chat was something very casual.. The only distinct memory of that first chat I have is that , it was the first time he called me honey ( though not in a romantic undertone) and I called him sweetheart.
        The chats became something I looked forward to and started arranging all the time. The last day of the month I had half day at school. Often we used to have a chat on that day.. There was only one cyber cafe (with a decent speed) near my house. Excuses had to be made for each visit to the cyber cafe and it was all thrilling and scary at the same time. I used to look around all the time and seek out new cyber cafes at a distance from where I stayed ( too cautious I m).
        The chats and mails stopped once he got into a job and we drifted away for sometime. The forwarded mails (yes, where have they gone ??) were exchanged now and then. How he fell in love and how we entered a relation is another story.. Now lets forward to 2007 when we were in a relation

We confessed our love to each other but hadn't even seen each other since 2005. Mailing photographs through cyber was a risky thing to do (remember how pictures were morphed in the initial days of internet liberty?) and neither was MMS a viable option. We came to the the internet then.. This time video calling :)

 The first time we were going to video chat I remember being as nervous as a newly wed bride. ;) I hadn't seen him for soo long and the wait and the questions ! would he find me beautiful? would he change his decision when he saw me? I was very young then and naive to this whole world of romance. He had come home early from office and set out to search for a cyber with webcam.. (trust me its a bigg trouble to find one) and I was all ready and waiting for him at a nearby cafe. As fate would have, my cellphone was in repair and he had a powercut in the cafe. So I waiting for a long time before I could see him. And it was worth the wait..
There he was! sitting right in front of me in a navy blue shirt and he looked hottt.. I was lost again.. He looked at me and oh God ! I had never been so concious in my life! and then the internet connection died.. 

       With time we depended mostly on the webcam chat to see each other. Although we got cellphone with MMS facility later but watching each other was only possible through the cam. The excuses, the frustration of not finding a suitable cyber with cam, of not finding a good connection.. We have lived through it all..
     
      Now to the present time..
We both have internet connection at home. We both have cam. We can see each other whenever we are home. We can feel free with each other.. It's a blessing to our love story..
      Even now when I m on internet in the morning and he comes online to check his mails, he sends me a chat.. We chat but we can't go on messenger since he is in office and we chat like those gone days.. Even if it's been only 10 minutes since we talked on phone we are all , "Love you jaanu " on chat.. It brings back all those days of love when internet was not so easy to have :)
     Long distance isn't so much of a pain thanks to Skype  :)

   
 P.S: I know this was a long one, but had to be in continuation :) Hope you liked it..