Monday, 27 June 2011

Love in times of internet..

           It all began on the internet.. Back in 2005, when I and S first met and then he went to his city, his mail id was all I had of him.. My first mail id was created long before that and due to no activity on it, got deactivated too. When S entered my life, a whole new world of internet opened up for me.
           In those days (I was in school) I did not have an internet connection at home and projects, made with the help of internet,still hadn't been heard of in the syllabus. Today even primary students operate the internet for the school projects but our school projects were independent of the internet. Encyclopedias and library books were still the most referred study material.
           It was just 2 days since he left for his city and I was missing him already. I remember the day I went to the internet cafe. It was a rainy afternoon and the cyber cafe wore a deserted look. I created my account taking a lot of time and struggling with the slow internet connection. Finally a mail was drafted and I battled if I should send it to him. After making a few changes, I finally clicked on SEND.. Then began the wait..
          The whole internet and mailing thing of course had to be kept a secret lest unnecessary suspicion be drawn to something that didn't even exist. It took more than two days for him to reply to the mail.. The cyber cafe had become alluring and the only way to reach him (he didn't even have a cellphone that time). We exchanged mails and then came the next step.. I invited him for a chat.. The time was decided upon and I was hoping that he turns up..
         Our first yahoo messenger chat was something very casual.. The only distinct memory of that first chat I have is that , it was the first time he called me honey ( though not in a romantic undertone) and I called him sweetheart.
        The chats became something I looked forward to and started arranging all the time. The last day of the month I had half day at school. Often we used to have a chat on that day.. There was only one cyber cafe (with a decent speed) near my house. Excuses had to be made for each visit to the cyber cafe and it was all thrilling and scary at the same time. I used to look around all the time and seek out new cyber cafes at a distance from where I stayed ( too cautious I m).
        The chats and mails stopped once he got into a job and we drifted away for sometime. The forwarded mails (yes, where have they gone ??) were exchanged now and then. How he fell in love and how we entered a relation is another story.. Now lets forward to 2007 when we were in a relation

We confessed our love to each other but hadn't even seen each other since 2005. Mailing photographs through cyber was a risky thing to do (remember how pictures were morphed in the initial days of internet liberty?) and neither was MMS a viable option. We came to the the internet then.. This time video calling :)

 The first time we were going to video chat I remember being as nervous as a newly wed bride. ;) I hadn't seen him for soo long and the wait and the questions ! would he find me beautiful? would he change his decision when he saw me? I was very young then and naive to this whole world of romance. He had come home early from office and set out to search for a cyber with webcam.. (trust me its a bigg trouble to find one) and I was all ready and waiting for him at a nearby cafe. As fate would have, my cellphone was in repair and he had a powercut in the cafe. So I waiting for a long time before I could see him. And it was worth the wait..
There he was! sitting right in front of me in a navy blue shirt and he looked hottt.. I was lost again.. He looked at me and oh God ! I had never been so concious in my life! and then the internet connection died.. 

       With time we depended mostly on the webcam chat to see each other. Although we got cellphone with MMS facility later but watching each other was only possible through the cam. The excuses, the frustration of not finding a suitable cyber with cam, of not finding a good connection.. We have lived through it all..
     
      Now to the present time..
We both have internet connection at home. We both have cam. We can see each other whenever we are home. We can feel free with each other.. It's a blessing to our love story..
      Even now when I m on internet in the morning and he comes online to check his mails, he sends me a chat.. We chat but we can't go on messenger since he is in office and we chat like those gone days.. Even if it's been only 10 minutes since we talked on phone we are all , "Love you jaanu " on chat.. It brings back all those days of love when internet was not so easy to have :)
     Long distance isn't so much of a pain thanks to Skype  :)

   
 P.S: I know this was a long one, but had to be in continuation :) Hope you liked it..

Friday, 10 June 2011

you always get me!

                If there is one thing no one can equal S at, that is making a fool of me! Poor me is always the BAKRI.
There must have been innumerable times when he said something with so much convenience that I DID believe it .. even if it was outright bizarre and crazy! So it goes like if he tells me something is wrong with the solar system ( by giving some made up explanation and cooked up stats) and it is actually night although it looks like day... you can trust me to believe that!  
               I remember the most terrifying fool he made of me..
I hadn't called him all day as I had guests visiting and his genius of a brain cooked up a brilliant tale to get me!
               Late in the evening I called him. He was sounding ill. I asked him what was wrong. He replied that he had fever.
              I got worried because he was alright when we last talked and touchwood he never falls sick like that without reason (unlike me!!). 
              He told me ," Actually yesterday I went out with a friend of mine to a tattoo parlor. He got a design made on his arm."
              I was all ears to what he was saying! Alarm bells ringing!
              He took a dramatic pause! 
             "Then?" I asked nervously.
             "I too got a tattoo of your name on my chest ... in German."
Wow! now which girl wouldn't like to get such a permanent name engraved on her man! Minus the pain ofcourse! 
            "But now it is hurting and due to that pain I have fever."
That statement was enough to get me hysterical! Pain, fever, tattoo, pus!! everything running on my mind!
            "Why did you have to get a tattoo?" I almost cried.
I was on the verge of tears when he said, "Mazaak kar raha tha".
            He is too good at acting I tell you!

On April 1st I planned to get even with him for all the little fools he has made of me. I succeeded partly because he started believing me at the end  of it !  

Later in the evening we were talking and suddenly he asked me, "How far is Kanjurmarg from your place?"
"Uhh I don't know. Will ask someone.. Why?"
"Actually I have a meeting there. Will be coming on 20th."
"What? 20th? "
"Why ? aren't you there?"
"I told you na .. I was going to go to Water park.." I ofcourse didn't want to lose this chance . I was already thinking of ways to postpone or make adjustments..
"Ok wait..I will call them and cancel the plan." 
I heard the giggle on the other side the moment I said this! Oh Shit! IT was still April Fool's day and he got me! Shaaay!!!!!!!!!
He was having a smug moment I say! 

Now you all know how upset I was about going native and him visiting my city.. All the time I was thinking what he would be doing here... 

I landed in my city at 1 sharp .. When I reached home and called him he asked me, "When did you reach?"
I answered him, "Reached airport at 1."
He told  me, "Ohh I was there till 11. My flight was at 11. I looked around if you would be there. Missed just by two hours."
"Really ?" I asked innocently.   
"Ha baba.. bad luck. I was waiting you know."
I felt so miserable on hearing it. So he had been here while I was somewhere else! Star crossed love!
"Bas mat bolo aur."
"Kyun"
"Mujhe bura lagta hai." I said in a low tone.. 
"Nahi baba.. Me toh aya hi nahi " and he giggled again!!!
"You!!! you are too bad! Always make a fool of me " 
"I know "
Ohh he tricks me so well with his story! But I m soo hopelessly stupid when it comes to him! Love that is! I m so so madly and foolishly in love with this man!

So the moral of the april (sorry June) fool is (yeah this one has a moral, so read ok!) 
He hasn't yet been to my city so we still stand a fattt chance ! 
SO  HAPPY HAPPY I M !!

P.S : Thanks readers for the supportive comments on my last negative post :P Good times do come around !!

Saturday, 28 May 2011

Distance,moodswings ,plans and failures

                   Life is not exactly perfect at the moment.. Trouble has been brewing since last month.. I stayed away from the blog because I did not want any of my negativity to rub off onto this blog which I started with so much love.. It would only be fair to not leave it stagnated though..
                   Me and S are in two different cities.. I have been missing him badly for so long.. The distance is really heartbreaking, not so much because of the miles in between but because we haven't met for last two and a half years.. Yes, you heard it right.. Two and a half years we have just been talking on phone and seeing each other thanks to SKYPE and Yahoo!
                  Of late I m having some extremely irritating mood swings.. The hormones playing havoc in my otherwise sound love life.. Only a drop of a pin is enough these days to get my temper soaring.. Then I get this hopelessly depressing mood and I cry myself out for no central reason. It just could be S not calling me back or S not checking my snaps..
                   He is having his own problems at workplace and I feel I m just adding to it.. I  sometimes feel like cutting off from him for like days and sort myself out.. That is not an option because I simply cannot stay away from him. I need him, even if it is just for fighting. It's not that I enjoy fighting or arguing. I get drained emotionally instead. I just need to talk to him no matter what.. Sometimes I feel its a compulsive disorder.. Now I don't know what I am talking about..sowie!!
                 He is supposed to come to my city next week and guess what?? I m leaving for my native place that very date!!! For a family function! Now who do I cry out my bad luck on??
                 With this state of affairs I will go mental soon...
Enough of my venting out here.. Just hope that we meet pretty soon.. The distance is taking a toll on me.. Sometimes I think what have I done so wrong to deserve this? Probably God doesn't give you good things easily..
               S came into my life as a blessing and nothing can change that fact.. Even if we don't stay together forever ,I will always love him..
             
P.S: I think I should be back only when everything is alright...

Saturday, 14 May 2011

Oops!! No time for love..

              The title says it all.. My exams are going on and S is busy with his work..

Called him up early in the morning.. No exam ever goes well without his, "All the best baba" ...

Was pretty worked up early in the morning .. Somethings at home made me fume with rage and turned my little romantic head into a pressure cooker.. Walked off with my study material and those lofty books with a lightening speed( you could never believe I can carry something so heavy and with so much speed otherwise). Gave him a misscall and a little smile curved my lips... I love his number !! 
     To listen to that lazy and sexy tone ( I know I m crazy about it  ).... something I just can't describe... I m not exaggerating, but the very voice does calm me down into a more passionate mood...
    Then the smile turned into blushing  .. That is S effect!!

I remember this one incident when I was talking to him on phone in train.. The moment I disconnected the call my friend said," It was him na?"
I was like , "Yeah how did you know?"
She told me," I don't know how to describe it.. but you get this distinct smile and blush when it's him on the other side.."
What could I do but blush some more !  

I would like to see that "distinct grin" though...  (I know S, I haven't told you about this one!! Things that make me smile to myself )

But wow!! 4 years and I still get that blush.. I m loving it...

 one more thing... S doesn't know to wink... Khi khi khi.. I m the master at it!! I find it kind of cute though when he tries to wink back and ends up shutting both his eyes... Awww.. too much now I know ...

You must have figured that I m missing him like hell.. Don't know when his meeting will end.. Waiting for his call ....

P.S Let the exam get over.. Will start posting regularly.. Other than S :P you must be getting bored nah??

Sunday, 8 May 2011

Love it when...

Little note for S 
   Little things in love make it soo beautiful.. Little things about you make me soo mad about you...

  1. Love it when you call me "meri jaan" and I forget all my complains..
  2. Love to hear your sexy voice when you just wake up.. It makes me want to curl up next to you..
  3. Love it when you explain technical terms to me.. ( I know I m too bad at it..)
  4. Love it when you can't spell hard consonants like "kh" and "gh" and end up saying "kaana" for "khaana".. :) It sounds cute coming from you 
  5. Love it when I m correcting you when you speak wrong hindi and you look at me like my small baby.
  6. Love it when you use "Mumbaiyaa" terms .. I still don't know where you learnt those.. :P
  7. Love that naughty smile, I know is just reserved for me 
  8. Love to see you keep playing with the wires of the headphone..
  9. Love it when I crack a joke and you don't get it and keep quiet.. When I tell you it was a joke you give me that "hahaha" 
  10. Love it when you keep forgiving me for my mistakes... ( I m seriously the lesser sinner :P)


For all the little joys you bring into my life 

Monday, 2 May 2011

For my love


That deep calm voice 
which makes my pulse race..
Those long slender fingers
which caressed my face.
The only pair of eyes 
in which  I want to see me..
The comfort of those warm arms
where I want to be..
That steady shoulder I can
always lean my head on
If its you on the other end
theres no path I wouldn't tread
that only heart which knows 
the rhythm of mine..
That only soul which
can love mine so fine..
It's all you,it has always been 
coz you are the man of my dreams..





Sunday, 1 May 2011

Kiss and Tell...

       Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last. -Remy de Gourmont


      I read somewhere that "If your first kiss is with the only you truly love, there are more chances that you two will always be together"...
      I have no proof how true it is but isn't that special memory enough to keep two people in their thoughts always? I mean however hard one tries to erase the memory, the first kiss will always remain etched in the deepest trenches of one's soul.. 
      The story of kissing a frog that will turn into a prince doesn't fit into this scheme of things.. The desperation of experiencing a kiss may lead some to kiss many such frogs down the way before they meet their prince. But they truly are robbed of a ecstasy surpassing all these thrills and that is having that first innocent kiss with the prince charming himself..
I would pledge by it that kissing your love is million times better than kissing someone just for the heck of it. 
      
        The hopeless romantic that I am, I m on cloud nine that there are more chances of me and S being together forever.. (yes, he is my Prince... what's  more, I m the lucky one to be his first too :P "blush" )
       The first kisses are the most unplanned and innovative ones.. From cars, bedroom (after marriage for some :P), theatres, to classrooms and trains too.. ( yeah, I have heard this unromantic places made romantic by a kiss :P). The inexperience, the clumsiness, the hesitation and the desire to make it the perfect one are all that make the first kiss so memorable..
       Mine was somewhere near to the sea.. perfectly romantic location.. with my hair ruffled by the wind and the sound of the waves tickling my eardrums.. ( here I stop because there is no viewer's discretion tag on my blog :P)
       
       So how many frogs did you kiss before the prince??

 A bit out of context but...

     Is it just me or does the word "snog" for "kiss" seem like "eating up someone's face" ??? gross word I say.. Every time I hear it I m turned off.. The romanticism of kiss is lost in "snog"..Don't you feel??

P.S : With all the hoopla surrounding the Royal wedding there is a sudden upsurge in girls tweeting on twitter that they too want a Royal wedding.. Yeah seems like straight from disneyland.. Fairytale like and what's wrong in wanting one like that.. Isn't that why fairy tales sell?? But now we are grown up and someone rightly tweeted in response..
"LOYAL WEDDING IS BETTER THAN ROYAL WEDDING"

 Smart tweet I must say here..

P.P.S : someday I will write about what kind of marriage I want.. (When S is a little more free to drop into my space ..Although he has heard enough of it :P)
        
      

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